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  • Love Letter To Two Over The Counter Pharmaceuticals
    March 9, 2014

    Love Letter To Two Over The Counter Pharmaceuticals

    Filed under Unexpected Positivity

    Disclaimer: pharmaceutical lobbyists paid me tens of millions of dollars to write this rant.

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  • 7 Video Game Songs That Will Be Playing In My Nightclub, Studio N64
    February 9, 2014

    7 Video Game Songs That Will Be Playing In My Nightclub, Studio N64

    Filed under Unexpected Positivity

    One of my many billion dollar businesses ideas involves opening up a nightclub in the Meatpacking District called Studio N64 that plays only video game music

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  • “Her” Is The New “Gattaca”
    January 5, 2014

    “Her” Is The New “Gattaca”

    Filed under Unexpected Positivity

    Every once in a while a movie blows your mind, scattering gory globs of brain all over the faces of your friends, who are like, “Jesus, dude, uch, why is there brain all over my face? Can you please stop ranting about that stupid movie?” For me, that movie was always Gattaca. Now, it’s Her.

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  • Behold, Grino, Blessed Be Its Name
    November 6, 2013

    Behold, Grino, Blessed Be Its Name

    Filed under Unexpected Positivity

    You must accept Pellegrino as your true Lord and Savior, for only in its salty bubbles can you find salvation.

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Unexpected Positivity

This is where I say nice things about nice things. 

Most Beloved Articles

  • "Row Row Row Your Boat" Is A Totally Twisted Fucked Up Song
  • The Civil Rights Movement Was A Failure
  • What It's Like To Be A Man Who Doesn't Care About Sports
  • 2 Reasons You’re An Idiot If You Don’t Hire Humanities Majors
  • Please Stop Telling Me That I Can’t Compare Apples to Oranges

Latest Tweets

  • Video Games should be rated on a scale from 1 to "this will permanently destroy your relationship with your girlfriend."September 8, 8:42pm
  • I liked the "Internet of Things" better when we called it "Skynet." Time to rebrand?June 1, 7:49pm
  • RT @annkirschner: $1M for public higher ed! @GaryArlen @holdengraber @justinhendrix @IvyLi @jugoretz @PWGarner pls retweet! https://t.co/I…May 6, 4:34pm
  • RT @mwurst: What if the only restaurants open on Chinese New Year were Jewish Kosher delis?February 19, 11:05pm
  • You know what would make the world a better place? If every minute you wasted of someone else's time was subtracted from your lifespan.February 14, 3:40pm
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