Collected Works

Things I created that I thought you might enjoy. 

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  • The Dungeon

    November 19, 2013

    K this section looks a 'lil pathetic, so I'm putting this in as a placeholder for the sitcom pilot I've been working on. It's called The Dungeon. Most college shows/movies are about how wild and wonderful college is --- this show will revolutionize the genre by depicting a band of brothers trying to survive the horrors of a liberal arts college. It's like Animal House meets Hotel Rawanda!
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  • Canon Cherry Blossom 1

    November 19, 2013

  • Waldorf 2

    November 19, 2013

  • Waldorf 1

    November 19, 2013

  • Manischewitz 1

    November 19, 2013

  • Canon Cherry Blossom 2

    November 19, 2013

  • EZ Pass 2

    October 17, 2013

  • How To Train Your MiddKid

    October 17, 2013

    An article I wrote in college about Middlebury's disastrous underage drinking policy. I like to think of myself as a walking talking PR disaster for my alma mater, a quest that began in earnest with the publication of this little diddly.
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  • Pay (For) Attention

    October 17, 2013

    An article I wrote in high school about Attention Deficit Disorder. I'm pretty proud of this one because it actually resulted in Horace Mann changing its learning disability policy (for the better). It's aged well too, given that psychiatrists are still zombifying entire generations of American school children with stimulants...
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  • Escape From The Job Jungle

    October 17, 2013

    The Huffington Post published this article I wrote about the impossibility of finding a job after graduation. This article, along with the NYTimes one, helped cement my reputation as the world's foremost authority on living at home with your parents and not having a job. Next up: a piece in The Economist on how to be desperately single.
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  • Life In The Pleasure Palace

    October 17, 2013

    The New York Times published this article of mine right when I graduated college. In other words, my entire career as a writer has going steadily downhill from the age of 21. Anywho, it's about the joys of moving back in with my parents.
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  • Olive Trees

    October 17, 2013

  • The Uncontrolled Fire

    October 17, 2013

    Behold, my Magnum Opus --- a prize-winning history thesis on Ronald Reagan and the War on Drugs. In it, I argue that over the course of the 1980s, the War on Drugs slowly tore apart Ronald Reagan's experimental brand of conservatism, exposing the ideological fault-lines of the GOP and the impossibility of translating conservative ideology into public policy.
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  • The Watcher Of The Void

    October 15, 2013

    You can never really know the truth about the past. I wrote a short story about that, and here it is. It's about a corporate detective paid to investigate an obsessive scientist, who has asked his employer for an impossible resource --- a spaceship.
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  • A Jew Or Not A Jew

    October 15, 2013

    One Jew living in Dublin (me, junior year of college) wrote an exhausting paper about another Jew living in Dublin (Leopold Bloom, 1904). If you've ever wondered what a 19 year old English minor in an Adderall-induced haze has to say about the greatest and most baffling work of literature of the 20th Century, you have come to the right place my friend.
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  • Pipes On A Prehistoric Earth

    October 15, 2013

    Ah, my very first college essay. Here's a very pretentious paper about a very pretentious book --- Heart of Darkness (not to be confused with Dick Cheney's biography). There's a quote in that novel that will always remind me of Middlebury: "And this too has been one of the dark places of the earth."
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  • "Amour De Notte"

    October 15, 2013

  • "I Dream of Home"

    October 15, 2013

  • "Intricately Spun Lies"

    October 15, 2013

  • "It's A Trap!"

    October 15, 2013

  • EZ Pass 1

    October 15, 2013